THE WORLD AND LIFE - ACCORDING TO PAT

Within each of us, there is a spirit
that walks the solitary sands of a desert isle.
***
Life is a tapestry of learning experiences and we all weave a thread.
***
Time has neither beginning nor ending,
Only a constant flow,
Where I have been,
Where I will be,
I have watched myself go.
***
The present is only a heartbeat long.
The past and future are but back-to-back bed fellows.

High Flight

MONTH OF MAY 2010

MAY 1 - MAY 13
I am lost in a star-filled haze and don't remember much, except floating through these days. All I can think about is him. He's an extraordinary man! He is every thing I have ever wished, dreamed, and desired from the universe. I have never felt so good, so positive, and so alive! Ahhh...I am in love!

MAY 14
My life goes terribly wrong today. I lose the love of my life because of a stupid, unintentional mistake.

MAY 15
Even though I am hurting inside, a gentle voice in my mind is saying, "All is right. Wait for him." And I do. He comes back to me for a brief time.

MAY 16
He is going through so much trauma right now. I ache with him. I long to hold him. I come home from work to heartbreak.

MAY 17
Nothing helps. He is gone.

MAY 18
I never even had a chance to meet him. I saw his picture on Facebook, and something 'clicked' in my mind. We started writing to each other. Our souls connected. It was meant that our lives touch, even though we never did. I marvel at what and how God gifts us and then takes away, leaving us to wonder why.

MAY 19
He no longer trusts me...and that hurts so deeply! I defended my integrity, but it wasn't enough. He didn't believe me. He couldn't believe me...the trust was gone.

I try to write goodbye to him here, but I can't. That is one thing I was told never to do. If God's Divine Plan is for us to be together in the future and it somehow manifests, I will be in 'shock and awe.'

MAY 20
I'm easing back into life - moving on - one NOW moment at a time. The present is a gift. I hold onto it with a tighter grip than before.

MAY 21
The only good thing about being in love and losing him is that it's been great for my diet. I haven't been eating much lately, so the pounds are falling off. I also haven't been feeling very well...I guess that's why they call it being 'love sick.'

I look around at the condition of my apartment. I have badly neglected it. I spent almost every day, sitting at my computer, writing to him. (I'm sure you're wondering why I don't put a name to him. It's private. That's the way it should be, and that's the way it will remain.)

MAY 22
Today, I think a lot about trust. What does it mean to me? Trust is knowing that I am talking to a genuine person...someone who has no hidden agenda. When I ask a question, it is answered with only the truth. When I tell a secret, I know it will never be told to anyone else. When I open myself and become vulnerable, that person will never take advantage of it and hurt me. All of this was in our relationship...until the mistake. What is a mistake? It is: "to misunderstand; an unintentional error." And because of a misunderstanding of my unintentional error, all we had was suddenly gone.

MAY 23
I am in 'shock and awe.' God healed our wounds with an angelic touch, and two hearts are beating together again. I am humbled by the magnificent intelligence of His Divine Plan.

MAY 24 - MAY 30
I have been 'on top of the world' emotionally for most of these days, but on May 30, he stopped writing to me. I don't know why. I don't know what I said or did. The only thing I can do is give it back to God and His Divine Plan to mend. I can't fix it when I don't know how it has been broken. I know everything happens for a reason. He has to go through this, and so do I.

MAY 31
He is gone...again. I don't understand why or what happened. I am heartbroken. The pain is incredible! I love him so much.

Is he doing this because he feels that I would be better off without him? All he has to do is connect to my heart to know the answer. I will never be better without him - he completes me. "One soul in two bodies...."

A gentle voice in my mind is saying, "All is right. Wait for him." And I do. Always.

AMAZING LANDING

'Star Wars (John Williams Is The Man)' medley - Corey Vidal and Moosebut...